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You can be the life and soul of the Party

More money is spent on boob jobs and viagra than on alzheimers research,,by 2040 the elderly will have perky tits, stiff cocks and no fuckin idea why....some bloke in the paralympics has tested positive for WD 40,,,

i been invited to the annual dinner of the premiature ejaculation society so i asked was there any sort of dress code they said just come in your pants....

best wishes GEE

I am going to watch my wedding video in reverse later. I love the part where she takes her ring off and

walks down the isle backwards, gets in the car and fuck's off.

Wife say's to husband, 'Doctor says I have the tits and ass of an 18 year old'

Husband says 'What about your 40 year old cunt?'

Wife says ' We did not mention you'

They have found Elizabeth Fritzi's diary, (Girl in the cellar).

Monday...stayed in, dad came down and fucked me

Tuesday...got fucked by dad

Wednesday...stayed in, dad fucked me

Thursday...stayed in, got fucked by dad.

Friday...stayed in, dad fucked me.

Saturday... Went to see Totenham play football, wish I had stayed in.

A female al-queda terrorist was found dead today in her bathroom. Police believe she got her anthrax mixed up with her tampax and blew up the wrong cunt.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

Quickies

Tasmanian couple walking out of the divorce court, the wife is crying her heart out.

Husband says ' Oh for fuck's sake stop crying, you're still my sister'

Today an Abbo was found nailed to a tree, stabbed six times and shot twice.

Redfern police said it's the worst case of suicide they had ever seen.

A car bomb was found outside Lakemba mosque today. Police have urged the public not to

panic as they have managed to push it inside the mosque.

Woman goes into a shoe shop and sees a gorgeous pair of white stilettos. She asks what are they made of.

The assistant said they were made from human skin and cost $1500.00 a pair.

The woman said she could not afford that. The assistant says ‘Don't worry, we have them in black for $4.99.’

Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, 'get this out of me, give me drugs'.

She turns to the boyfriend and says 'You did this to me you fucker'. He replied casually,

'If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said, 'Fuck off it'll be too painful, shoulda listened to me!'

Thanks to Shirley Waddington for sending all the above in to the site.